What to Wear to a Funeral or Memorial Service
Funerals aren’t easy to talk about, and when the time comes, choosing what to wear to a funeral can feel stressful. I’ve been to several services myself and wondered—am I too dressy, too casual, or just right?
One reader preparing for her boss’s funeral said, “I went online to search and found nothing.” She’s right—you’ll find endless advice on weddings and parties, but very little on funeral attire for women or what to wear to a memorial service. That’s why I’m sharing this guide. Funerals aren’t about fashion, but what you wear does matter. It’s about looking respectful, appropriate, and thoughtful—something we all care about.
Style Snapshot: What to Wear to a Funeral
- Classic funeral attire for women: a simple dark dress, skirt suit, or pantsuit in black, navy, or charcoal. Knowing what to wear to a funeral is important to maintain respect and tradition.
- Keep it modest: closed-toe shoes, minimal jewelry, and nothing flashy.
- Memorial or visitation? Muted colors are safest unless the family requests lighter shades.
- Plan ahead: check the weather, try on your outfit, and bring tissues so you feel comfortable and prepared.
Dress | Bag | Earrings | Shoes
What to Wear to a Funeral
I like to think of funeral dressing the same way I think about dressing for an important business meeting—polished, understated, and respectful. The simplest choices are often the best:
- A dark dress in a clean, classic cut from knee length to midi
- A skirt suit or pantsuit
- Tailored pants with a modest blouse or knit top
Keep fabrics refined and silhouettes simple. If you’re hesitating, trust me—err on the side of simplicity. You’ll never feel out of place in something clean and classic.
Two-piece suit for a Funeral | dressy shoes | dressy bag
Funeral Dress Code
There aren’t hard-and-fast rules, but there are definitely guidelines that help you feel confident walking into the service:
- Dress a little more formally than you think you need to. It’s always better to be slightly overdressed than too casual. Imagine what you’d wear to a job interview.
- Choose modest cuts: higher necklines, longer hemlines, and covered shoulders if the service is in a church. (You’re not going to a party or nightclub!)
- Keep prints small and subtle in dark, somber colors.
- Closed-toe shoes are the most respectful choice.
My personal rule? If I wouldn’t wear it to a conservative workplace, I don’t wear it to a funeral.
Clothing Ideas for Women
Here are the best women’s clothes for funerals:
Dresses are a natural choice. A sheath, fit-and-flare, or shift that hits at or below the knee is perfect. In summer, sleeveless is fine—but I always bring a cardigan or blazer for modesty, especially in a church setting.
Pants and tops work beautifully too. Dark trousers with an elegant blouse or knit feel polished but not fussy. A blazer can instantly add formality if you’re unsure.
Suits—whether pantsuits or skirt suits—are ideal if you want to look pulled together without calling attention to yourself. They send the message of respect. See suits for funerals here, or have a look at the one I’m wearing above.
Shoes should be both classic and comfortable. Low- to mid-heeled pumps or flats in a dark neutral are my go-to. And trust me, if there’s a graveside service, you’ll be glad you didn’t choose stilettos.
Accessories are best kept simple. Small studs, a delicate necklace, and a structured handbag look chic without being distracting. I’ve seen people wear chunky statement pieces, and it just doesn’t feel right for the occasion – too ornate.
Do You Have to Wear Black?
Black is traditional—but not required. Dark neutrals like navy, charcoal, deep brown, or forest green work just as well. If you love color, keep it muted and minimal—this isn’t the time for bold prints or brights.
Sometimes families specifically request lighter colors to celebrate their loved one’s life. In those cases, soft neutrals like ivory, blush, or pale gray are thoughtful and appropriate.
What to Wear to a Memorial or Visitation
In general, you would wear the same thing to a Memorial service as to a funeral—conservative clothing in dark colors. However, memorial services are deeply personal in Western cultures, and you may be requested to wear more joyful colors or something that reflects the personality of the deceased. Think of these as more of a celebration of life rather than a traditional funeral.
In this case, you may still want to err on the conservative side and wear something light, classic, and neutral. A pretty taupe pencil skirt and soft pink or ivory blouse, for example, would be very appropriate. Some request guests wear white to a memorial service, and, in this case, white or cream is fine.
My tip? Keep it simple and avoid anything that could draw attention away from the moment.
What Not to Wear
Sometimes it helps to flip the question and ask what you should avoid. Here’s what I steer clear of:
- Jeans, shorts, leggings, or athletic wear (yes, I’ve seen people show up in denim, and it never feels right).
- Capris or shorts (No, not even if it’s hot)
- Flip-flops, casual sandals, or sky-high stilettos.
- Mini dresses, plunging necklines, high slits, or sheer fabrics.
- Bare legs. It is more elegant and respectful to wear dark stockings or ultra-sheer nude hose.
- Bright colors, loud prints, or flashy embellishments.
- Overly heavy makeup or bold lipstick.
- Large jewelry that is sparkly or dangly
If you’d wear it to a party, a date, or a backyard BBQ—it’s probably not right for a funeral.
Last-Minute Prep
A little planning makes a world of difference. Before the day of the service:
- Try on your funeral outfit the night before. If you have an outfit you “save” as your funeral outfit, you want to ensure it still fits!
- Tuck some tissue in your purse. Whether it’s for you or others, you can never have too many.
- Check the weather. Make sure that you come prepared in case it rains.
- Don’t forget gloves. If you are going to the cemetery and it’s cold out, gloves will help protect your hands and keep them warm.
- Make sure to grab sunglasses: No matter what season it is, sunglasses will help protect your eyes.
- Turn off your cell phone. It would be pretty embarrassing to have your phone go off in the middle of this solemn event!At the end of the day, it’s not about fashion—it’s about respect. Choose something that feels modest and comfortable so you can focus on being there for the people who matter most.
FAQs:
Do I have to wear black to a funeral?
No. Black is most traditional, but navy, charcoal, brown, or deep green are equally appropriate.
Can I wear pants to a funeral?
Yes. Dark trousers with a blouse or a tailored pantsuit look polished and respectful.
What’s different for a memorial service?
Memorials may allow lighter tones if requested by the family. Still aim for modest, classic pieces.
Are sleeveless dresses okay?
Yes in warm weather, but bring a cardigan or blazer if the service is in a formal setting.
What about shoes and accessories?
Closed-toe shoes in dark neutrals are best, and accessories should be small, classic, and minimal.Go for gold or silver studs or small earrings. Most importantly, avoid wearing anything too large and bold. A polished, structured bag is a floppy boho style, and understated belts with no flashy buckles.
What Do Men Wear to a Funeral?
When it comes to outfits for men, it’s relatively easy and straightforward. A dark suit with a pair of smart dress shoes is ideal. (They have it easy!). It’s most important for men to avoid anything too relaxed, like a t-shirt and jeans. A nice dress shirt and a conservative tie is another good option.
More Funeral Outfits
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Frequently Asked Questions
Choose modest, conservative clothing in dark or muted colors. A knee-length dress, skirt and blouse, or a pantsuit in black, navy, or charcoal are all appropriate options that show respect.
Black is traditional but not mandatory. Dark colors like navy, charcoal, brown, or deep green are also acceptable and respectful choices for funeral attire for women.
Avoid jeans, leggings, bright colors, flashy jewelry, short skirts, plunging necklines, and anything too tight or revealing. The goal is to dress modestly and respectfully.
Yes, dark dress pants paired with a refined blouse or blazer are perfectly appropriate. A well-tailored pantsuit is also a respectful and polished funeral attire women's choice.
Opt for a conservative, polished outfit such as a dark dress or tailored pantsuit. Keep accessories minimal, and choose shoes that are comfortable for standing.
Yes. Wear closed-toe shoes in a neutral color with a low to mid heel. Accessories should be understated—think small earrings, classic watches, and structured bags.
Funeral attire for women is typically more formal and somber. Memorial services may allow lighter colors or personal touches that reflect the individual being honored, but modesty is still key.
Yes, but keep them small, subtle, and in dark tones. Avoid loud prints, bright florals, or bold stripes that can feel distracting or festive.
Sleeveless dresses can be appropriate in warm weather, but it's best to bring a jacket or sweater, especially if the service is held in a church or formal setting.
Try it on the night before to ensure it fits properly. Check the weather, bring tissues, and pack practical extras like an umbrella or gloves if needed.
This was a great article. I really liked the dress lengths that you featured. So many black or navy dresses but I always find them so short! Also, I liked the option of the lighter outfit for a memorial service done months later. You are so great! I always enjoy your blog.
Thanks Anne Marie. I’m so glad the article was helpful and you liked my choice of dresses. Dresses have been really short in the last few years and then there was a slew of maxis. Now I’m seeing more of that in-between perfect length, fortunately. Thanks for stopping by. Cheers, Deborah
I love the navy dress in this post. Can you share who it’s by/where to get it?
Hi Beth, This is an older post, so I can’t find the exact dress anymore, but this is similar:https://rstyle.me/+rSyjuARkUe8smNfRdnSvNg.
Hi Deborah.
I am not over 40, but I’m hoping you could give me some advice anyway.
My grandfather passed away, and I’m unsure what to wear to his funeral. Firstly, one of his wishes was no black clothing. Considering most of my clothes are black, this causes a problem. I want to wear something respectful of his wish but also something sad and doesn’t mind buying something new for the occasion, but I’m not sure what since I’ve never been to a funeral before.
What kind of outfit would you recommend I wear?
Hi Tabitha, I’m so sorry for your loss. You want to look respectful, even though your grandfather requested no black. Have you thought about dressing in navy or a soft, low-key color? You can’t go wrong with something classic like a sheath dress, shift dress, or fit and flare. You could also wear dress pants and a nice blouse or a top with a jacket. Nothing fussy, simple lines – something like you’d wear to the office, rather than a social function, and you should be good. I hope that helps. Take care.
You could try navy blue or grey.
Dear Deborah: Our daughter-in-law’s mother has passed away, and my husband and I will travel to the memorial service. I’ll be wearing a printed dress with a purple blazer, the hem of my clothing is black, so my shoes will also be black. I need your advice on stocking color. Is it appropriate to wear a nude color or a sheer black?
Our daughter-in-law has requested that we all wear color as her mother was always brightly attired. There will be sadness, but then Joy will follow.
Thank you, Deborah.
Pamela
Hi Pamela, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Either color is delicate. I would make sure if you wear nude, they are ultra-sheer. Otherwise, you get that heavy-tanned old lady leg look. Donna Karan’s nudes are my favorite, and Secret makes some good ultra sheers. All the best.
Deborah, thank you for always being classy! The funeral concerns the deceased and the family, and fashion should defer to them. It’s not the time to showcase ourselves.
These are beneficial reminders and guidelines on what is appropriate to dress for a funeral or wake. Thank you for underscoring that the right dress conveys respect to the family and the deceased. I will sadly be attending a path tomorrow and happened to read this before going upstairs to plan my outfit, so your post is very timely.
Stefanie
Thank you for these guidelines and suggestions. They are sorely needed.
If the funeral is in a church, synagogue, or other places of worship, please refrain from a low-cut top or dress, even if it is black.
I know someone in their will specified that she wanted everyone to wear bright, happy, and their favorite outfits to her funeral to joyfully celebrate her life.
Hi Marie, Actually that sounds like a beautiful idea! If that is the case, then go for it!